Doubt breeds fear

SESSION 16  4/10/11

The night before this session I’d had a dream about being in what looked like an underground car park. I could see a brightly-lit tunnel ahead of me with lots of people queuing to walk into it. I was in the queue but was really nervous about going into the tunnel as I couldn’t see where it led.

The whole experience of the Ouija and channelling was causing a lot of doubts and questions about where it was coming from. What if I was tapping into a deep part of my subconscious? This would be great in itself, but not if I conned myself into believing it was coming from elsewhere. This was to be the start of a very difficult time for me as I oscillated between doubt and disbelief, and trust and acceptance.

We set our intentions as usual.

Kris: Hello, is there anybody there?

            YES

Kris: Who is it we’re speaking to?

            SETH

Kris / Pad: Good evening, Seth.

Kris: A bit of a tumultuous time at the moment – have you any guidance at all for me, to help me through this time?

            YOU (pauseYES

Kris: Can or should?

            CAN

Kris:Ok, I thought ‘you can relax’, and nothing moved, and I thought ‘should’ relax and got ‘Yes’. Is that right?

            YES

Kris: Why should I relax? Because I sure would like to.

            BECAUSE YOU BREED FEAR WHEN YOU DOUBT

Kris: I know, I know, I’m torturing myself. Were we right in our interpretation of the dreams I had last night?

            NO

Kris: Can you give us more information about them, or one of them, please?

            THE TUNNEL TEARS YOU APART

Kris: I don’t understand. (pause) What does that mean? (pause) What do you mean by ‘the tunnel tears me apart’?

Pad: What did you think it was – a passage to channelling?

Kris: Yeh,mejoining the queue to becoming a channeller and go in that direction, and the fact that I kept changing my mind and not being sure of it.

            YOU ARE CORRECT

Pad: You are correct about what?

Kris: That the tunnel is a queue I’m waiting to join with all the other channels. Is that what you mean?

(the glass moves slightly between YES and NO)

Pad: Is there something else you were correct about?Did you think something?

Kris: In my interpretation… Can you tell us some more about that dream?

            WHEN YOU CHANNELL QUEUES OF INFORMATION FORM IN

            YOUR MIND

Kris: Well, that’s definitely not what I was thinking he was going to say.

Pad: Maybe the tunnel is lots of information trying to get through in one go, and it tears you apart?

Kris: Is that right what Paddy just said, that’s what you mean by ‘the tunnel tears me apart’?

            YES

Kris: So there’s so much information trying to get through that I’m not able to process? That I end up totally – confused?

            YES

Kris: And doubtful?

            YES

Kris: Is this what’s happening when I’m trying to channel?

(hesitantly and not directly) YES

Kris: I know that my belief in myself has a lot to do with it. Is there anything I can do… (glass begins to move)

            YOU (pause) BEGIN TO CHANNEL   (pause)     YES

Pad: Did you think of something then?

Kris: Streams of information… (I struggle to remember what had just come into my head) Streams of information, they gather? Now that reassures me, funnily enough – that I can’t remember it. ‘Streams of information…?’

            GATHER

Kris: (I speak, but it’s not clear what I say) because I can’t remember.

            JUST AS ENERGY BUILDS

Kris: And it has to find a way out? A form of expression?

            YES

Kris: Where they your words, then?

            YES (pause) YOU ARE EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM YOURSELF

Kris: I feel that…I’m making up the words when I channel. Is that normal at this stage to feel that way?

            YES    FEEL LIKE A PERSON LEARNING

Kris: ‘To channel’?

            YES

Kris: Ok, in my mind I said I feel like a fraud. And I wasn’t really consciously saying that to Seth, I was just saying it to myself.

Pad: Well, it just confirms everything that I’ve been saying: that you’ve got to take it one step at a time. You’re not going to get past that point where you do start to believe in it and you do feel like…until you get the ABC’s in place.

Kris: I know. (pause. I blow my nose for the umpteenth time) Why is my food intolerance so bad today?

            YOU CANT CHANNELL

Kris: With a blocked nose. (laughs)

            WITH A STUFFED NOSE

(I explain to Pad that this was a comment regarding my creating my blocked nose because I wanted to avoid channelling.)

Pad: Ok, can we ask if that’s what it means? Is that what you mean?

            YES

Pad: Kris has created this so she doesn’t have to channel?

            YES

Pad: So, should she try tonight, to channel?

            YES

Kris: That’s when you know it isn’t me. Any hints? In the spacious present, I am channelling, I have channelled, I will channel – it’s all happening now. Can you at least say it’s something that I need to be in a deep trance for? Do I need to be in a deep trance?

            EASY TO CHANNEL WITHOUT TRANCE

Kris: Did you help me create those dreams, to reassure me?

(hesitant movement to a sort of) YES

Kris: Is that because it isn’t just you that’s responsible?

           YES

Kris: Is it my higher self, as well?

            YES

Kris: So it’s like a co-operation between my higher self and you?

            YES

Kris: Is it likely that when I channel… I know there’s different ways of doing it: some people seem to know what they’re saying as they’re saying it – I think that’s what Delcia does, although she might not remember everything. Jane seemed to step aside to allow you through, how will I end up channelling? What will be my M.O.?

            YOU WILL DECIDE

Kris: (laughs)Oh, you could try and make it a bit easier.

Pad: That’s good.

Kris: A bit is because it opens it up, doesn’t it – it’s not carved in stone.

Pad: You decide these things. It’s up to you. That’s what I’m saying about your soul-searching and really being clear about it.

Kris: I appreciate that it’s all free-will and I have to find my own way through, rather than have it imposed upon me – I know that. Is there anything you can suggest tonight, for instance, that I could do to make it a bit easier for me…apart from relax? (pause) What approach should we take, I’m asking, I suppose? Given the options that we have.

            FEEL YOUR BELIEF (pause) CALL ON ME

Kris: (gets emotional) I just…I think maybe that…it’s almost like ‘I’ll be there for you’, it has that same, ‘you’re not alone’, quality, and it’s ok.

Pad: Maybe when you feel yourself slipping, you remember your belief – you try and feel…

Kris: That’s what I thought he was going to say ‘feel your way through’.

Pad: But, that wouldn’t actually give you anything helpful, would it? But ‘feel your belief’. When you’re really struggling, try and stick with how you feel in your body. How you feel when you’re doing this.

Kris: When I’m doing this, there’s no doubt in my mind.

Pad: Is there a feeling there?

Kris: Yeh, connection.

Pad: Remember, even if you don’t say anything, just feel being in that connection. And if you say something and you don’t think it’s anything, it doesn’t matter. No-one’s going to know.

Kris: Ok, is there anything else, any advice or reassurance you can give me before we finish this part of our communication?

            JUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF

Kris: Ok, thank you. Talk for you soon. (laughs)

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One comment on “Doubt breeds fear

  1. Hi Kris – just to say how special I think this last blog is – so natural and real. I know I keep saying it – but just do it, just channel. I am sure that more information about where it is coming from will simply unfold. This Being – Seth – really wants to help you, and the part about it being your Higher Self reaching him rings so true for me. I haven’t seen it that clearly before – that this is what is happening – the channeller’s Higher Self is what reaches out further – to these other intelligences we call spirit guides. Brilliant stuff! with love, Delcia

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